About Therapy
When you think of therapy…
How does it make you feel?
Does it feel pleasant? Unpleasant?
Does it make you feel nervous? Relieved? Maybe a combination of both?
What thoughts come up?
Do you think, “It would be nice to have a place to vent,” or “I ought to be able to fix myself without a damn therapist,” or “What if the therapist thinks I’m batshit crazy?”
It’s normal to resist therapy. After all, it can be expensive, make you feel vulnerable, and even be socially stigmatizing.
But while you’re here…
Let’s reclaim and reframe what therapy is and what it can be.
Therapy as freedom…
First, I want you to remember the last time you had anyone’s undivided attention for an hour. And not just undivided attention, but undivided attention that felt warm, curious, supportive, and nonjudgmental. If you’re like me, your answer may be “never.” Isn’t that crazy?
Now consider what it would feel like to have such an hour every week to speak from the heart, tell your truth or question it, and explore yourself completely. What would you do with this freedom? What might you discover?
Essentially, this thing we call therapy is a forum for self-exploration and expression that is rarely available in “the real world.” For some people, this alone is worth the price of admission.
Therapy as rebellion…
Whether we like to admit it, we learn a lot about how to be a person from our surroundings. And it’s not like we’re given a choice of teachers.
Perhaps most obviously, our parents and guardians were our first teachers. We may have learned from them that it’s safe to be our full emotional selves, or we may have learned that only certain emotions (if any) were allowed in the house.
Outside our immediate family, we have been taught how to be by our institutions, religions, social norms, and culture, all in the context of our capitalist country’s white-male, cis-hetero patriarchy. In other words, the forces that shape us are as enormous as they are entrenched.
Because “our teachers” are centuries old, therapy is an act of rebellion. It is a way of turning inward toward the history and powers that shaped us. Of course, there may be teachers to whom we offer our gratitude… and others to whom we’ll extend our middle fingers. Whatever the case, therapy as rebellion is about deciding for ourselves who we truly are.
Therapy as altruism…
It may be tempting to think of therapy as a selfish pursuit – as a kind of navel-gazing. It is also tempting to think therapy is for people with worse problems. (I can’t tell you how often I’ve heard some version of “I feel guilty taking this slot. I’m just complaining. Other people out there have it way worse.”). I strongly disagree with these notions.
The work we do in therapy ripples out forever in subtle and gigantic ways. On the subtle side, consider how being more emotionally attuned in your interaction with a barista, colleague, or family member could subtly ripple through their lives.
On the gigantic side, consider the immeasurable positive impact of a parent who overcomes the urge to hit or yell at their children – of a man who survives the desire to take his own life – of a survivor of emotional neglect daring to say “I love you” for the first time. Such courageous actions literally alter the course of other people’s lives. Therapy is much bigger than you and me.
Therapy as “karma busting”…
Finally, if we aren’t aware of how the past has shaped our fate, we are powerless to change it. For better or worse, we carry karma forward. (If you don’t love the notion of karma, that’s okay. I like to think of karma and intergenerational trauma as virtually synonymous.)
However, when we do therapy well, we can recognize what karma we have unknowingly taken on from the past. Only then do we have the chance to put it down – to interrupt the cycle of suffering.
When we do therapy together…
We’ll get really curious about everything that makes you YOU: your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, facial expressions, word choices, reactions, and whatever else arrives in session.
The powerful thing about curiosity is that it doesn’t judge. Whether we’re looking at your deepest shame or your greatest joy, curiosity simply notices. Like a spotlight in a play, it doesn’t discriminate between heroes, villains, props, or curtains. It just shines.
You may be surprised to learn just how quickly some things are illuminated when we turn on the light of curiosity.
Here are a few things I believe about you, me, and therapy…
Everyone is welcome here!
I identify as a cisgender, monogamous, heterosexual, European-American man, but my practice is open and friendly to all, including folks in LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC communities.
Call me for your free consultation… I would love to meet you!
You have no “bad parts.”
So writes Richard Schwartz. To me, this means there’s no voice, thought, feeling, urge, idea, reaction, or behavior that’s inherently “bad.” This applies to EVERYTHING, from the gentlest inner critic to the meanest addiction or suicidal thought. There is no bad part of you.
Don’t believe me? Book a consultation and challenge me!
You already have “the secret sauce” to healing.
Your body naturally knows how to grow and heal. It only needs the right conditions to do so. Modern life rarely provides the right environment. My job is to supply those conditions, get out of the way, and let your body do its beautiful thing.
If you’re curious about these conditions, book a free consultation!
Therapy is hard, but suffering is harder. You can do this!
About Me
Hi, I’m Casey (he/him).
I grew up just outside of Nashville, TN, and have since lived all over the place.
I have a Bachelor of Arts degree from Columbia University, a Master of Social Work (MSW) from Portland State University, and I’m licensed in Washington (where I live) and Oregon (where Powell’s Books lives). Before opening my private practice, I worked as a therapist at the Portland VA hospital.
Throughout the years, I’ve spent plenty of time planted on a therapist’s couch working through my own depression. Which is to say that my education, training, and experience as a therapist are founded in a lot of deeply personal work.
When I’m not doing therapy (which I love!), I’m busy being a dad, husband, voracious reader, lay-secular-Buddhist, meditator, and songwriter.